Title: If I Fall
By Anna Cruise
April 6, 2013
Published by-Mission Bay Publishing
Genre- Young Adult
Meg Calloway is at the edge.
Reeling from her parents' sudden divorce, fifteen-year old Meg has never felt more alone. Her father is about to marry a woman she can't stand and her mother's only companion is an endless supply of alcohol. When Aidan Westwood, an older boy at school, shows interest in her, she grabs on and doesn't let go, thinking he's exactly what she needs to help stem her loneliness and despair. She quickly learns that Aidan lives a darker, more dangerous life than she does and the more isolated she feels from her family, the more willing she is to step into Aidan's world.
As Meg drifts further from her friends, she tries to find comfort with a boy who is opening her eyes up to new things, none of them good. Will she listen to those around her who are warning her that she's headed down a path of self-destruction?
Or will she fall too far...too fast...too deep?
I woke up at five but I waited until six to call Aidan. It was dark and shadowy in my room and those shadows had lurked in my mind and slunk along the walls all night, haunting my thoughts and—what little I slept—my dreams. Menacing, taunting, reminding me of the disastrous hour I'd spent at my dad's. His reaction, his abandoning me. I didn't find any comfort in the pink and purple glow that slowly filtered in, hinting at the rising sun. No, I was afraid those seeds I'd planted, of anger and despair, would absorb that energy, would welcome the light and heat and grow into something more ominous. I couldn't be by myself any longer.
I felt around on my nightstand, finding and grabbing my cell phone. I flipped it open and the key pad glowed to life.
“Mmm?” He was half-asleep.
My voice was a whisper. “I'm home. Come get me.”
“Hmm?” I pictured him in his bed, a blanket twisted around him, lifting his head to glance at his alarm clock. “Meg?” His voice was husky, sexy. “It's six in the morning. What...?”
“I'll tell you when you get here.”
I hung up.
I tiptoed around my room as I got dressed and brushed my teeth. I'd just finished combing my hair when I heard the unmistakable sound of his car pulling up in front of my house. I hurried to open the door before he could knock. My mom didn't know I'd come home and I wanted to keep it that way.
I turned the knob and the door pushed open of its own accord. Aidan slammed into me, pressing me against the wall, his mouth fastened to mine, his hands roving the length of me. I tasted beer and tequila, I smelled cigarettes and weed, but I didn't care. All that mattered was he was there.
“I missed you.” His mouth moved to my cheek and I tilted my head sideways, letting his lips glide along my throat. His lips came back to mine, hot, urgent. “I want you.” He untied the drawstring on my shorts, sliding them down with one hand. “Now.”
“Aidan...the door...” It was wide open.
He kicked it shut as he unfastened his shorts. “Now.”
He lowered me to the floor and the cool terra cotta tile pressed into my back but I didn't care. “Right now.”
I don’t know if I could choose the perfect soundtrack but I do know that these songs are ones that I listened to over and over again while writing If I Fall. And these songs are the ones I hear when I see certain scenes.
Nobody's Home – Avril Lavigne
This song pretty much sums up Meg's life. She wants to go home—but nobody's there. Nobody she can connect with, anyway, and certainly no one who can help her navigate everything that's going on in her life.
Le Pony – Italian Japanese
This is an obscure, brilliant band from Southern California. Listen beyond the instrumental opening and you'll hear a sweetly haunting song about saying “your last goodbye”—just like Meg did when her father drives away in the opening scene.
Free Falling – Tom Petty
One of my most favorite songs in the Universe. The first four words of the song pretty much sum up Meg: “She's a good girl...” and these words, “And I'm a bad boy 'cuz I don't even miss her...” have Aidan written all over them.
Wanted -- Hunter Hayes
I can totally see Case singing this song to Meg. He wants to make her feel loved, make her feel wanted, even when she doesn’t think she deserves him.
Just The Way You Are – Bruno Mars
I'm not a big Bruno Mars fan, but this song—for me, anyway—speaks exactly to how Case feels about Meg. He's not trying to change her, he's not trying to make her into someone she's not and he's not trying to make her feel bad about who she's become. He doesn't care about any of that. He likes her for who she is, flaws and all. Just the way she is.
I’d love to hear what readers think, too! What songs do you see on the soundtrack?
About the Author-
Anna Cruise has been writing -- and drooling over boys -- since middle school. Lots of years have passed but some things never change...
Her books include the best-seller IT WAS YOU (New Adult), IF I FALL (Mature YA) and MAVERICK (New Adult). Additional titles releasing in 2013 will include a follow-up to Abby and West's story from IT WAS YOU.
Anna loves to hear from readers and authors. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also like her Facebook page, find her on Twitter @AnnaCruiseBooks or friend her on Goodreads.
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